Friday, August 17, 2012
Value your support system
Your formal education will equip you with all the knowledge, skills and traits required to lead a successful professional life. Living a fulfilling life is possible only through learning to value your support system. Attitude to learning to respect these pillars of strength will give you an advantage which cannot be quantified. It will show in your output and your general way of being. In times of our parents or before that, we had the joint family system which is perhaps the strongest support system that one can have. We take our parents for granted in many such cases without realizing how important they are for our being able to build lives outside home. That's a separate philosophy which I will discuss some other time.
However in today's times when we have to step out and move away from our homes to create our future in new cities, this support system has acquired names like Mukta mausi, Seema tai, Noor, Pinky, maharajji, driver saab etc. They are real and are here to stay if you treat them properly. You know I have always employed management theories and learning from workplace to running my household. It seems to work beautifully. To share a few - build trust and show respect; not everyone performs at same levels on all days; people are working with you and not for you; everyone has both good days and bad days; 'me time' is not the privilege of educated and rich alone, everyone needs that for rejuvenating themselves; all helps today have options and its their choice that they are with you, so learn to value them; its a transaction - you have money power, they have physical power; reward behaviors you want to strengthen and have regular review/feedback discussions; take out time and have informal discussions about their family; show you care; take their inputs when planning things in the house or kitchen - build ownership and engagement; be cognizant of their existence as humans, not just employees and so on.
In any relationship, the person who is more educated and matured is expected to work things out instead of being petty and reactive. In this case it would be you. If things don't seem to work out even after repeated attempts, shake hands and part ways. Like in business world there are no permanent friends or enemies. Its all matter of time. As Gandhiji said "do unto others as you want them to do to you".
When you have a household of your own, implement these...and experience for yourself how it works.