Sunday, December 29, 2013


People say that before death your entire life passes in front of your eyes. The veracity of this cannot be tested like most other life theories but I do believe it is possible. As humans we are hardwired into doing “postmortem” of everything in life, many times at the cost of efficiency and time but we love doing it. It has its benefits too but mostly where money is involved, not in life. In life what happened a second ago is gone. Gone for forever. Unfortunately we are still to develop ‘ctrl c’ button for events in life. Good in a way otherwise we would be in a ‘hang mode’ on most days. Well, I don’t intend to live for forever and so far has been good. Want the rest of the journey to be great as well.  

You can pull out a consultant from consulting but can never take out consulting from a consultant. So after achieving major milestones in life I tend to look back and do some introspection. On most occasions I can’t complain about doing so much and getting so little because whatever in life did not work, taught me a lesson. So turning 40 made me take up another of those self-realization sessions. Many things have been said in the past and thousands more will come but still I don’t want to miss my chance of being under the sun and enjoy the warmth. It is said that every soul is allotted 108 existences to achieve its true self-realization. I am glad I got mine in my first one itself. Thanks to the life lived and the people around me. Will atleast get to live the remaining 107 now.

I call my “self realization” outcomes – KLFS. In today’s world of instant gratification and short term memory loss, I had this daunting task to come up with something brief and sweet to remember. Let me take you through each one – step by step.

Its quiet amusing to see how quickly people say “I don’t know how to do this” for something they don’t want to do. It’s very easy to take sides but very difficult to take a stand. I honestly feel blessed are those people who either have no ambitions or are highly ambitious. Both will not leave any stone unturned to achieve their goals. The ones engaged in the balancing act will always fall and hurt themselves. It’s the middle path which is arduous and tricky. I have taken the middle road and tripped more than I have been able to walk. Every nook and corner, turns and crossroads on the road have tested my beliefs, my values - forcing me to rethink on priorities and the way forward, be it relationships, family, work, friends etc.        
So here is my KLMS.

Keep Quiet (K) – Whenever you find yourself in a situation where your beliefs are being put to test and any utterance in its favor will be held against you. Keep quiet especially during discussions – family or otherwise. There is no power greater than silence. You can never be held responsible for something you have never said but you are slave of those words that you have slipped anyhow. Speak where you know you will be heard and understood. Speak where it makes a difference. Choose your audience well. It matters. No point in barking up the wrong tree my friend. There is noise but no outcome.   

Let Go (L) – Nothing in life is permanent. Change is the only thing that I can depend on. So all that hurts me, I let go. What remains is what is required. Not every relationship or person needs to be held on to. This doesn’t come easily but it happens. I have realized over the years that most of the things I have let go were not critical to my existence. Important maybe, indispensable not at all. Many a times my beliefs have been shaken and ridiculed which left me battered and defeated. Best part is that in spite of all those moments I am still around – with my soul untouched. Just let go.  Not every parting is sad. Some are required to maintain your own sanity. Going down without a fight is not a lesson learnt very early in life. Thanks to the support system that I had in my family during my growing up years. Your parents matter.

Move On (M) - Robert Frost famously said - "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." Life goes on no matter what happens. Believe me there is no strength which can match up the indomitable spirit inside each one of us. You kill someone only when this spirit is crushed. This spirit does not require any reinforcement except love and respect. I have seen wherever you don’t have these two, not either / or, in a relationship, the relationship will not hold on for long. Look around and you will see the truth. Whenever I see the writings on the wall, I have learnt to just get up and move on. Not look back, they are not worth it. Not running; just walking away quietly while my dignity and strength is still intact. If they don’t need you, you anyway are not required there. Right?

Stay Calm (S) – The idea of calmness exists in a sitting cat. That’s where I want to be. That’s where I will be. Even when provoked just step back and have that calmness take you out of the situation that you anyway would want to get out of. There is nothing more infuriating than an opponent who is not willing to give back. Oblige such situations. Whenever thinking of fighting fire with fire, please remember even our fire fighters use water.  Just stay calm. What is the ultimate in life that I would want – peace. Calmness is a state of mind and peace is what I will get. Not very difficult to understand and the bargain is great.

Last but not the least the four for me move in a linear fashion. You can try them individually in different situations but I have tested on many occasions, it generally flows in only one direction – KLMS. All situations can be put through this cycle.

Nothing in life is more important than me. If I am there, everything exists. When I am not around, all is over. Honestly I am still in the process of mastering these elements but since the fire has started; it will burn down all that is not essential to a happy and peaceful living. There is something inside so strong. My ultimate aim, the last movie I plan to see before I die has to be great...a pure masala should have action, drama,  love, tragedy, fun....because after that I would want to have a nice sleep and sweet dreams.  

Welcome 2014….

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